Maps and lasers

Maps confuse me. Particularly world maps. Globes are fine because they are on a round surface like the earth is. But a world map drawn on a flat surface makes the polar regions look disproportionate to their actual size. Now I understand that paper is easier to store if it's flat so people are more likely to have a map than a globe but that just means than more people have nonsensical representations of the earth. 

My glasses are causing blisters to form on the tops of my ears. My best solution to this is lazer eye surgery. I only need it on one eye so if they muck it up, I at least have another good eye and eye patches can look cool. Of course I could just get better glasses that don't hurt me. That is a logical solution that would cost much less money. But nah, I'm firing a laser beam into my seeing hole. Well, actually a doctor is going to do that, I just need to sit still.

I don't have much else to say so I'm gonna leave with a joke. 

Why is it a bad idea to iron a 4 leaf clover?

Because you shouldn't press your luck.

Sammy