Napping through the Wasteland

I missed yesterday's post because I napped during my break. I used this pillow that sits around where I take my break. I don't know who owns this pillow or the last time it's been washed, but it served me well on the little couch I took my snooze on. I put my hood up for hygiene purposes. My legs were folded pretty much up to my chest. Now, for this shift, I got less sleep than I did before yesterday's shift, but I am not tired at all. 

I switched stations on my workspace radio. It is the alternative FM channel for my area. I like the music but sometimes I get concerned that I'll get in throughout for it being inappropriate at times. I don't actually think anyone on my shift with me is sensitive enough to language or risque content to tell me to quit it. It's just the principle of being at work with the words "son of a" b word that makes me jump at times. 

I have been asked to work this shift next weekend, which I'll get stat for the Monday and double time for the Saturday. I don't quite know why I'm getting double time on the Saturday but I'll take it. I don't mind the weekend shifts. I have to split my breaks up because I am alone and I can't leave my post for too long. Other than that, it's kinda nice having the place to myself (I'm not completely by myself as there are people in other positions and departments, stop panicking mom). I have gotten to catch up on my readings I need to get done for training on weekends. And I can watch videos without disrupting people. 

Control wasn't loading on my computer properly. I have tried uninstalling and reinstalling it and will see if that is successful when I'm back home. Luckily, I didn't pay money for it as it came with a free game pass that I got with my computer. It's just annoying because I am invested in the story right now. I tend to not watch spoilers for games I am actively playing. I'll watch guides on a puzzle I'm stuck on but beyond that, I want to discover the mysteries myself. Only after I've finished the game will I look into the fan theories and lore.

With Fallout New Vegas, I enjoyed watching videos by Oxborn (was that his YouTube name) about the lore, as there was a lot I missed but picking one faction over the others (or in my case, picking none of them and running for all the power myself, screw you House). I was able to see how the story played out for different choices you make in that game without having to make several runs through the same missions myself. 

I'm gonna finish my peach iced tea before my break ends. 

Take care.

Sammy

Control is infiltrating my brain

I thought it would be funny to write my post in the title section and put the vice versa. I don't know if there is a character limit for the title though. I could investigate but it isn't important enough for me to spend time on. 

Speaking of things that aren't important, but in this case, I spend time on it anyway, Control is taking a huge chunk of my background thought. In the game, there are documents you pick up that have parts redacted. I didn't think much of it at first but now I'm curious about what the redacted parts are. If it was a real piece of paper, if you angle the light behind the words, you can often see what is crossed out in marker. This is of course impossible with my computer screen as there is this huge black piece of plastic behind it. So now my brain churns on about the possible redactions. I'm sure there are fan theories about it. It's just difficult to find search results on a game that's title is a common word. You don't get the same issue with games like Tetris or Mario Bros (although you might catch a few Italian brothers with that search term). I haven't seen any fanfiction about Tetris. I suppose you need a story line and/or characters for a fan theory to emerge.

Also, the song I was talking about yesterday is called Slide Into The Void. Sorry for the error. How dare a sleep deprived person on the internet make a mistake. 😉

Sammy

Into the Void of Superman

I think a lot but I don't necessarily have insights about the things I think about. Like tonight during my shift I was thinking about how I like this song about the video game Control by Stupendeum called Into The Void. Despite thinking about it for about an hour, I still don't have a definitive answer. I heard the song before I played the video game, so gaming nostalgia isn't the culprit. It kind of has Pink Floyd vibes, but in a female voice. I am a fan of The Wall. I don't know man. I just like the song.

I am a fan of some of the early Superman comics where he actually gets bad guys to see the effects of their actions. For example, there is one arms dealer that Superman brings to the front lines of war. The arms dealer is scared silly and vows not to sell guns again. I get that such stories don't fit the big screen very well but I think it is an important aspect to view heroes from. Not just strong beings who can beat up the bad guys, but as moral teachers bringing humans closer to greatness. 

There's what's floating in my noggin. Take care.

Sammy

I forgot to click publish on this one last night.

This is my last week of nights. I had to end it early as it was adversely affecting my health. I lost 15 pounds since starting. I don't think my mom reads this blog but in this case I'm glad because I didn't tell her I lost weight. Food just makes me nauseous during my night shift, so all I eat for each 24 hour period is supper beforehand, a snack during break and then maybe an egg for breakfast when I'm back home. So, that 7 nights in a row every second week hasn't been great for me. I feel bad for inconveniencing my workplace by resigning before the end of my temporary position but my health has to take priority.

Blogging has been a positive experience for me so maybe I'll keep blogging. I'll have to change the title because I'm not gonna wake up in the middle of the night just to blog. Though that would be funny. I'll have to brainstorm title ideas. Ideally it would be just as vague as the current one. A Person on Things. Even more vague. I like it. I'll have to check to see if that's available. Otherwise, A Person on Stuff or A Person on Matters of Insignicance would also work.

My new laptop is so fun to play on. I've been playing this game called Control which has a story that is warping my brain matter. I've also been playing this historical strategy game called Humankind which I am not good at. The word humankind makes me laugh because it was said by the Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau when he was trying a gender neutral alternative to mankind. The media and meme machines put him through the ringer for that one.

Avoid people who smell bad

In times of the plague, people were to be avoided if they smelled bad. In times of Covid, it's the same except now it's based on their sense of smell or lack thereof. I chuckled to myself when I thought of that just now. 

A few of my co-workers were talking about the price of food. They brought up how you can get cheap food that's pretty decent from dollar stores. I'll have to keep that in mind. It would be easy enough to get my night snacks from the dollar store than from the temperamental vending machine in my work building. I'll make a stop to one before my next night shift.

I am gonna see some of my young cousins this afternoon. I don't see them very often, so it would be unsurprising if they don't recognize me. I like little kids regardless of whether they know who I am.

I spent a couple hours playing on my new laptop when I should have been sleeping yesterday. I started playing Endless Space 2 which can be a big time sink. I'll stay away from my laptop today so that I'll get a few hours sleep before my visit with the cousins. 

🖖 Sammy

I don't really want to title this one...

The funeral for my grandfather was hard. I was able to keep my composure until my mom started crying. Then I was crying and I got snot running down my face. If crying didn't involve the nose, I'd be fine with it, but the snot makes it gross. Also, I tend to stifle my crying as to not be too loud, which makes it painful too. So yeah, crying sucks.

I decided I'm going to honor my grandfather with a video featuring stories and favorite moments from his children and grandchildren. I'll let my family grieve for a month or two before I bring it up as I don't want to put pressure on anyone right now.

On an unrelated and happier note, I just got a new laptop yesterday. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet. I installed a few games that I had only been able to play on my friends computer before. So, when I get home today, gaming will be the activity of the hour. I'm pretty excited. 

The vending machine in my work building took my money for a bag of Doritos but then didn't give me them. I'm not impressed. I will have to pick up some from the grocery store to make up for this injustice.

Sammy

Bye Papa

My grandfather has passed away. It's good that he's not suffering anymore. He lived a good life. Now, it's time for the family to grieve the loss of a great man. 

I don't really feel like saying much more. I just need time to process this. I might not post for a bit.

Sammy

Don't @ me

Another 7 nights on has started. I didn't have a large workload, so I finished enough to have my break early. I like having my breaks when it is still dark out. When the sun comes up, more people start coming in the building and I feel watched. Most people probably couldn't care less whether I was sitting on the couch for break or not, but I feel watched nevertheless. In the dead of the night, I can lay on the couch and not feel self conscious about how it may appear.

I answered a question on Quora yesterday. "Do people with severe disabilities have rights?" I wanted to answer with a "yeah, duh" but I actually have a decent answer. My mom thought the question was just to get a rise out of people, but I gave the person the benefit of doubt on that and gave them some sources for their own reading if they so choose. I don't consider myself an expert on human rights but I do know that, at least in my own country, they are very much present for people with disabilities. While I acknowledge that there are countries that don't have the same level of rights spelled out in their laws, I am optimistic that people are moving in that direction with the expansion of global trade and therefore global interaction. When people can write a news article about poor conditions of a country that is read internationally, it puts pressure on the government to at least consider making things better. Perhaps I think too highly of people, but that's not a crime so don't @ me. 

Don't @ me is my new favorite saying since I saw it on the window of my doctor's office. They drew a rainbow that was missing yellow. Underneath someone wrote that they were out of yellow so "don't @ me." It made me chuckle to myself so now it's just stuck in my head. So now it will be in my blog posts until a new saying replaces it or I get bored of it.

In highschool, I had a year where my most said word was "awesome." Whether life really was awesome or I was just determined to see things that way, I am uncertain. While there certainly are many things about life that are awesome, I don't use that word quite as liberally now. I don't think it is because I am less happy. In fact, I was quite the anxious teenager and I am quite mellow but content these days. I think it has more to due with my intensity of emotion I felt those days. Awesome had an emotional intensity when I said it. Also, I had a lot of people I felt the need to perform with. I wanted them to see me in a positive light so I constantly put forward a positive image. Today, I don't feel the need to perform in the same way. I want to have mutually beneficial relationships. I think authenticity benefits people more than constant positivity. If you want a constant stream of positive energy, you're on the wrong blog. 

Sammy

Ritz and Facebook

So there is this bookshelf that my workplace has where people store their lunch kits or snack bags. Tonight, sitting all by itself on the top shelf is a box of Ritz crackers. I found that immensely amusing.

I shared the link to my blog with my mom. I have no idea if she has checked it out or not. Most of her internet time is spent on Facebook and as this is not Facebook, probably not. I have little interest in Facebook anymore. I don't need people to click on a heart on my posts to feel validated. Not that there is anything wrong with Facebook users. It just doesn't do anything for me and the drama that can ensue on the site is an unnecessary addition to my life. Nevertheless, I still have a Facebook account. I use it to communicate with people that live in different time zones than me. I haven't posted anything on my page for years and maybe I never will. I don't want fighting amongst my family to be broadcast across my friend group. Nor do I want to watch a algorithmic feed based on information gathered on me to curate what I read. So yeah, Facebook is not important to me. 

I'm gonna stop here and just chill for a bit. 

Sammy

Better, even if more tired. And deep thoughts.

I am in better spirits today. Hanging out with my friend helped. We watched the latest episode of Owl House. Chaotic, adorable delight of a show.

I am a little tired because I didn't sleep as long. I got distracted with the YouTube when I got home in the morning. Then I woke up earlier than usual so I could spend more time with my friend. I don't regret it. While I was a bit irritable when I first arrived, a bit of home cooked food and good entertainment got me in a good mood. I am grateful for my friends and family. They make my life better.

Due to the dividing up of a loved one's possessions amongst my family, there has been conflict. It has caused me to think about my own possessions and how mine would be divided upon my passing. Some of it is obvious, such as my work uniforms going to my cousin who works the same field. Other stuff I am unsure if anyone would even want it. Like my rock collection I have accumulated since being a little kid. I wouldn't want them tossed in the garbage. Some of them cost quite a bit of money and it would be a shame for them to be in a landfill.

I have also been thinking about legacy. Legacy is kind of a hard concept for me to articulate. I don't think I have a big legacy but there have been a number of who have been happy to be around me, so that's pretty good. 

Deep thoughts for this time of night, but hey, the mind does what it does.

Take care people.

Sammy